Watching WAY too much “Fast and the Furious”

Everywhere I work, everywhere I go…the same bizarrely specific person appears.

I can’t escape them.

As I mentioned before, I live in a red state. But I imagine that this type of GUY can be found anywhere. But the shape he takes down south is this: A huge TOOL fan (along with a number of other aggressively mediocre metal bands that appeared in the late 90s and the 2000s), thinks of himself as a mechanic but has to reluctantly accept his current job (and despite being a “mechanic”, he has a shitty car), grew up unknowingly white trash, believes himself to be a “genius”, and hates life and blames everyone but himself for his shitty predicament.

Oh, and he has facial jewelry of sorts. AND, perhaps worst of all….he has an overbearing sense of cynicism.

I first became aware of this type of guy when I was in the Army. That pretty much describes every other white guy in the military. Of course, I was young then. The Army is full of faux-alpha male types, so I didn’t realize that these people were just self-loathing buffoons.

Then I briefly dated a “goth” girl. I was 19 and she was 25. She had all kinds of male friends (that she was probably fucking). Now I wouldn’t classify the guys I’m discussing as “goth”, but they certainly run in the same crowd. And this provided me with a brief peek behind the curtain.

All of these guys were in their late 20s or 30s, so I didn’t realize how pathetic their lives were. But they had the strangest conversations. I don’t even know if we could call them conversations as they were really just talking at each other. There was no sense of emotional reciprocation. Not that they didn’t have emotions. They just didn’t KNOW that they had emotions. But the topics of conversations were all the same: cars, buying parts for cars, motorcycles.

And they smoked. A LOT.

However, on occasion something strange would happen. They’d break from their usual topics and mention an absolutely horrible story. Usually something traumatic that happened to them. And these stories are nearly impossible to believe. Yet they always ended the same way: they felt nothing.

What the hell? Why would someone tell a horrible (and unbelievable) story only to say that they didn’t feel anything afterwords? Is it a cry for help? Is it an attempt to create an emotional connection? What’s the point?

And that’s where I discovered another trait: an obsession with the “dark” aspects of life that supposedly have no effect on them. It’s self-loathing masquerading as cool, that THEY believe makes them look tough on the exterior.

I hate Nirvana. The band, not the religious philosophy. It’s sad that Kurt Cobain killed himself. I wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone. But he was this symbol of a movement towards making sad and horrible things cool, yet being in complete denial of one’s own feelings of the sad and horrible things. Nirvana, for me, symbolizes this wallowing in self-pity. It’s not cool. It’s just shitty music.

Thankfully the relationship with the “goth” girl didn’t last long. There’s only so much of that shit one can take. But it left me with an awareness of this brand of unaware and deceptively smug jackass.

And they were everywhere. It’s understandable that teenagers would be that way. But grown ass men?

You’re probably wondering “what’s your point?” Or “who gives a shit?”

But it is becoming bothersome. Why do I keep running into these assholes? Do they actually EXIST? Or am I projecting that image onto them?

If it’s the last question, then I have a major problem. Obviously. Why would I project that onto them, and why the hell do I despise the shit out of them?

I wonder what people think when they see me. I wonder what it’s like to have a conversation with me. Do I come across as being cynical? Do my stories sound like absolute bullshit? ARE my stories bullshit?!

Unfortunately I cannot know what it’s like to have a conversation with me. I’d like to think that I’m an engaging, charming, and handsome character that people trip over themselves to meet. But what if that wasn’t true? And what if I KNOW that that’s not true, and somehow I’m trying to bury the fact that I AM a cynical piece of shit that people hate?

So perhaps those guys aren’t the problem….I’M the problem and I just see too much of myself in those douchebags. And that’s why I keep running into these mother fuckers everywhere I go.

So it’s ME that’s engaging in self-pity!

Son of a bitch!

But the ultimate question I want to ask is: what are these guys called? Is there a name for them but I’m too much of a homebody nerd to know what the cool kids are saying? If there isn’t, can I give them one?

They’re not alt-right. In fact, I don’t think they have an understanding of politics at all. Plus, these guys do get laid, so that definitely wouldn’t fit the alt-right definition.

But I’ve got nothing. Someone help me out.

Anyways, I get the feeling that these guys watch WAY too much Fast and the Furious. So that’s why I posted a Fast and the Furious video. Peace!

Fragile Masculinity Under Attack!

Look, first off…it’s Sunday night.

I’ve got nothing. No deep insights. No deep THOUGHTS, really. My mind is just blank.

However, when things get like that, I like to read things that piss me off. Like I said, I hate myself. And whenever I like to hate myself, I turn to the National Review to provide me with a swift kick to the scrotum.

Whenever I read the National Review, I often question how things got to be this way. How did a bunch of mostly (Ivy League) educated folks come to write such crap? It’s not even unique crap, it’s just the same rehashed shit that was originally written in the 80’s. Those mother fuckers are STILL talking about Ronald Reagan like the Walter Mondale debate happened yesterday. Yet here I am unemployed while a bunch of writers are half-assing their assignments.


But anyways, no writer makes me question my sanity more than Ben Shapiro. Again, why am I unemployed while he’s not? How did he get into UCLA and Harvard while I didn’t? Not only me, but how are SO many people unemployed and non-graduates of Harvard, yet Ben Shapiro IS employed and a Harvard graduate?

But Shapiro wrote an article this week bemoaning the concept of “toxic masculinity” and how masculinity itself is under attack. I’m too lazy to go back and link it to my page, so if you want to find you’ll just have to brave the website yourself. But it has left me with a bad taste in my mouth, or sort of like if you vomit a lot and the stench sort of lingers on your beard (if you have a beard). It’s sort of like that. And I’ve been unable to shake it from my mind.

Look, I’ve been a man all of my life. I’ve got a penis. I’ve got testes. Got facial hair…all the marking of what would make one “a male”. Right? And I imagine that when people meet me, they take the assumption that I’m a man. Because it would be completely weird if I whip out my penis to prove to them that I’m a male. I’ve never felt the need to do that. And that’s always been good enough for me to feel like a man. I don’t feel the need to go out and ‘prove’ to anyone that I am…in fact…a man.

And I understand that there are MANY people that don’t feel that way. There are some that are born “male”, but don’t in fact identify as such. And same thing with those those born “female”. And personally, I think that the world is a better place knowing that people are provided the opportunity to identify with who (or is it whom?) they feel their genuine selves to be.

HOWEVER, some (mostly males) feel the need to be, let’s say…extra MALE. So they do things like buy oversized vehicles, work out excessively, tell racist or sexist jokes, etc. And this is what we now identify as “toxic masculinity”. But in an intellectual, sociological, psychological, or whatever sense, we can also identify toxic masculinity as being this state of character where the man must be in complete control, to the point where women are just seen as objects or second-class citizens. OR, to the point where women are just seen as objects for male desire. (Did I say that twice?) And what results from this are things like sexism, rape culture, domestic abuse, and a host of other societal ills.

It basically reinforces the old adage “boys will be boys”.

Now to the conservative folks at the National Review, the IDEA of toxic masculinity is, in fact, hurting traditional masculinity. So now we’re just raising a bunch of lazy girly-men who will never know what it’s like to kill a wolf with their bare hands. And because “modern men” detest guns and violence, they won’t be able to protect their family from guns and violence. Because in the world of Ben Shapiro and the folks at the National Review, the world is a dangerous place and you have to be packing a Glock at all times like they did in the olden days of the Founding Fathers.

It’s the attack on this “traditional masculinity” that has fueled the pro-Trump movement. I mean, like it or not, IT DID. The iron-pumping, Dodge Ram-driving, NRA-card-carrying asshole felt that their sense of “manliness” was diminishing. They felt threatened by an ever changing world where they could no longer objectify women, belittle homosexuals, and whip out their wangs to compare sizes. They felt “emasculated” by Hillary Clinton, so they rallied behind Donald Trump who was so manly that he could punch out ISIS with his dick.

Who knew masculinity was so fragile?

Now look, I’m not the most manliest of dudes. Nor do I pretend to be. Why? Because I don’t care.

What do I have to prove?

So perhaps I’m not the best person to come to if you want to know how to be “manly”. But I am comfortable in my own skin. I pay my bills. I may be a fuck-up but I try to be a good person in this world. So what if men today aren’t the same kind of “men” like they had in the wild west? Those men were also butchers and rapists. Why would we want to be like them?

So being a man today doesn’t require anything special. Just be a good person and be true to your genuine self. No one gives a shit about your huge engine, biceps, and collection of guns. In fact, if you have those things, you really just look desperately pathetic. I mean, the only people who think those things are cool are other men who also have those things. Everyone else thinks you’re just compensating.

Also, REAL men shouldn’t feel so fragile about their masculinity that they complain about being “emasculated”. Now that IS pathetic.

BTW, I posted some random video of Ben Shapiro. You are welcome Ben for the free promotion (I sense that he probably Googles himself). And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.