Recollections…or some bullshit (Part II: The Myspace Era)

cocktails led signage
Photo by Brett Sayles on

I came across my old Myspace profile while searching for Mr. Lester.

“Fuuuuuuck”, I thought. “That Wes once existed.”

The end of the Bush years/beginning of Obama were dark times. That was my Myspace era. By the way…Myspace: way cooler than Facebook. That place deserves a renaissance. But anyways, I was in my late teens-early 20s during the Myspace fad. Depressing times. I don’t know why though. I would have HAD to of been a douchebag. Every guy in their late teens and twenties are pieces of shit.

I graduated high school and went to AIT for the Army. AIT is advanced training for your job. It was a fuckin blast. I met my doppelganger there. It was pretty fuckin spooky how much we looked and acted alike. There are a lot more freedoms in AIT than there are in basic training. You can drink, go off base, fuck…just as long as you’re back in the barracks on time. I was too insecure about myself. I didn’t drink or have sex at all that summer unlike everyone else. There was a girl crushing on me though. I didn’t know what to do so she went for my doppelganger instead. That was pretty cool. I didn’t have a care in the world, I didn’t think past that summer. I honestly assumed that I would return to my unit, get deployed to Iraq, and that would be that. If that didn’t happen, then I’d go back home, work some odd jobs, and do the Reserves. I did not give A FUCK about college.

But there was a drill sergeant that would hound my ass if I told him that. “You gotta go to college dumbass!”. Upon finishing AIT, I flew back home and applied to community college the next day. That was some fuckin bullshit. But I got it in my head that I would join ROTC and become an officer. Huge mistake.

In the meantime, I started my first long-term relationship. I say long-term. Upon reflection, it was probably only 8 months. A year at most. But damn, it felt like I dated this girl for years. Obviously it didn’t work out, but I bring this up because when I reflect on my 20s, it feels like I was single for most of it. And that’s bullshit. I’ve maybe been single for ONE year of my entire adult life. But what a fuckin year. Holy shit. I’ll get back to that. But after this relationship ended, I transferred to a major four-year university and everything went down hill.

Right before my 21st birthday, the Army sent me Dallas for some horseshit training mission. I took my first drink of alcohol in some shitty hotel room and went to a strip club. My life was never the same. When I returned home, I used my military ID to get into bars. That was pretty badass. I got drunk one night and got into a fight with my brother. He absolutely DESTROYED my face. I didn’t drink again until my 21st birthday.

On that fateful birthday, I celebrated at some stripper’s house. I didn’t know her. Her boyfriend was some shitty tattoo artist. He came downstairs in his underwear and did a line of coke off the book Go Ask Alice. That was totally fuckin boss. Then he wanted somebody to punch him in the face. My friend obliged. Meanwhile, I was blasting my body with alcohol. Then I blacked out and started puking everywhere. They moved me out into the garage where I covered myself in vomit. I got alcohol poisoning and I wasn’t able to eat an entire meal for two weeks.

I lost so much fucking weight from that.

That was a weird stretch of a few days. I caught up with my ex-girlfriend and she took me to a bar to meet one of her friends. I wasn’t entirely 100% at that moment. But her friend,  some dude that was trying to fuck her, gave me some weed. It was the first time I smoked it. He took us back to his place and tried to talk us into a three-way. But I started drinking gin and cranberry and puked in his sink. I began ROTC full-time just a day or two later.

ROTC sucked. I wish that I could elaborate, but there’s honestly not much I remember. I was fucked up 24/7. My grades were failing. Life sucked. I decided to end life by taking a cocktail of shit and that was my first suicide attempt. I was hospitalized for a few days and was discharged from ROTC.

I temporarily dropped out of college. This was mid-semester too. I just quit attending.

I moved to some small ass town (near where I attended high school) with a friend where I was going to rebuild life. Great fuckin times too. Unfortunately I got caught up with woman, fell in love with her, and then she dropped my ass. That fuckin destroyed my love life. Then I got in touch with another ex-girlfriend who was totally into drugs at that time. I hung out with her, took some shit, fell into a fuckin seizure and was back in the ER. The friend I was living with though “fuck this” and bailed. My life was back in the dumpster.

“To hell with this”, I thought. I re-enrolled in college.

Then the 2000s ended. Barack Obama was president. The Myspace era was over.

In came the Facebook era….the darkest of times.

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