10 ways 2 B mor successful @ work

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I have 2 biz degreees from yale so I kno wat im talkin abt. People want 2 b haters on u bc u will b so successful. Let the haters hate u bc u will have more money and success then they will. So fuck em n they’re azz. Haha. Here r 10 tips 2 b successful at work n shit

1. Dont shit yer pants n meetings
2. Only look at porn on your ifone
3. Always lye on your resumay
4. Do a drug to stay productive. I like speed n crack
5. Walk around the building holding a peace of paper. Occasionally open a door and ask for Bill. People will think yer looking 4 Bill.
6. Take longer shitz than normal. jack off if you need 2
7. Say big words lik “hegemony” and “sexual inter course”. People will think yer smart
8. Say sur or mam to yer boss.
9. If u shave yer pubes at work, clean out the sink plz
10. Dont talk about politiks and religion. People wont lik u if u do.

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