A Paranormal Remedy

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I was taking a piss today when it occurred to me: “Oh shit! I’m depressed!”

Does that happen to anyone else? My depression doesn’t creep up on me. It just appears like a stoner buddy from college that needs a place to crash for a few weeks until he gets his life together. Then he mopes around for a week or two until you tell him to get off his lazy ass, then you won’t see him again for months. That’s what my depression is like.

So I meandered around work, fretting about the meaninglessness of life, asking myself: “is this all that there is? Is this shitty blog my only legacy?”

Then a co-worker told me about a time he almost shit himself when he saw a ghost of someone that was killed at our workplace.

“Someone died here?”, I asked.

“Several people have.”, he replied.

Fuck yeah! There’s a lot of heavy machinery and toxic chemicals at my place of work. So that didn’t really surprise me. But in all likelihood, he was probably bullshitting me.

It didn’t matter.

We started exchanging ghost stories and I spent the rest of the night watching scary videos on YouTube. I thought that I was going to spend the next couple of weeks going through the early stages of a midlife crisis. Instead I have a new found love of the paranormal.

My question is, lots of crazy people have found fascination, if not solace, in the supernatural…so what took me so long? So that’s it! Fuck logic. Fuck empirical and scientific data. Fuck this philosophy bullshit. Just give me the bullshit. I’m becoming an amateur, part-time, paranormal researcher starting TODAY.

But folks, what I’m trying to say here is that blogging has driven me mad. I need some time away from this thing.  So if you need me, do a séance or some shit.

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