What do I do when I run out of things to talk about? I talk about my favorite subject: myself.
So here’s a few bullshit things about me:
- My hobbies are sleeping, throwing quarters off buildings, and shit posting on Reddit.
- I didn’t realize that I was homeless at one point.
- I don’t like you.
- I walked in on a class, farted, then walked out.
- I think I might be homeless.
- I once threw a football 40 yards into the endzone at AT&T Stadium. That was pretty cool. Tony Romo couldn’t do that.
- I once ate 7 Klondike Bar in 2 days.
- The best shit I’ve ever had was at Chicago O’Hare.
- I did LSD once. I’d do it again.
- I once hosted a Harry Potter podcast. I’ve never read Harry Potter in my life.
- My heroes are Socrates, Michelle Obama, and the Tourette’s Guy.
- Don’t fuck with Voodoo.
- I watched Raging Bull once. Wasn’t impressed.
- I kinda look like Marlon Brando. As in, 1995 Marlon Brando. Not 1955.
- I need your spare change.