How To Tell If You’re A Terrible Person (Part I)

pexels-photo-450271.jpeg

I make reference to “terrible people”, “pieces of shit”, and “psychopaths” regularly.

“But Wes, how can one know if they’re a shitty person?”, you ask.

That’s easy! Here’s a list of 50 qualities that shitty people usually possess. BUT if you possess all of these qualities, then you’re just a fuckin’ badass. They are:

  • From Indiana
  • Have more hair on your face than on top of your head
  • Write a blog
  • A fan of the Marvel Universe, Harry Potter, or Fast and the Furious movies.
  • A fan of MMA
  • Can’t find where you live on a map
  • Can’t pronounce ‘h’s’
  • Own a gun
  • Not on prescription medication
  • Too afraid to fart in front of your spouse
  • Drive a truck
  • Write lists
  • Used the word ‘society’ twice in one paragraph
  • Went to college
  • Didn’t go to college
  • Claim to have OCD when you really don’t
  • Worked in a coffee shop
  • A cyclist
  • Played golf
  • Takes offense to this
  • Owns two large dogs but lives in a small apartment
  • Can’t shit in public restrooms
  • Asked “are we having fun yet?”
  • Registered Republican
  • Registered Democrat
  • Yell at people on a TV screen
  • Never been drunk
  • Find Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Elon Musk to be inspirational figures
  • Never huffed gasoline
  • Jordan Peterson
  • Fan of a sports team from a city that you’ve never been to
  • Been to Cleveland
  • Still watches The Walking Dead
  • Knows how the stock market works
  • Reads a newspaper
  • Plays acoustic guitar
  • Vapes
  • Ran a marathon
  • Have an “alumni” license plate holder
  • Think people want to hear about your kids
  • Cooks
  • Sleeps less than 8 hours a night
  • Has hobbies
  • Likes shit with vampires in it
  • Doesn’t understand British humor
  • Into Minecraft
  • Doesn’t laugh at fart jokes
  • Quoted Fight Club
  • White
  • Posts comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s