Predicting the Super Bowl

For the first time in several years, I don’t care about this year’s Super Bowl. Whenever New England is on the field, things get a tad bit predictable.

So I need a reason to watch it. I’m going to make few predictions about it, and we’ll see how much of it will come true.

  1. The Patriots get the ball on the opening drive which will result in a three-and-out. The Eagles will subsequently get the ball. Nick Foles will drive down field and throw a touchdown to Jay Ajayi.
  2. In the opening half, Jay Ajayi will have two touchdowns: one receiving, and one on the ground.
  3. Also in the first half, Nick Foles will be nearly perfect: two touchdowns and over 200 yards through the air.
  4. Eagles defense will overwhelm Tom Brady in the first half. He will be sacked 2+ times and throw for under 50% and 89 yards SPECIFICALLY.
  5. Despite the rough start for the Patriots offense, they will score 10 points in the first half. Stephen Gostkowski will kick the lone fieldgoal in the game.
  6. Halftime score: Eagles-21, Patriots-10
  7. Justin Timberlake will take a knee during the halftime show.
  8. The Eagles will not score in the second half.
  9. Despite having an aggressive offense, the Eagles will become questionably conservative in the second half by relying heavily on a ground-and-pound game
  10. With 8 minutes to go in the fourth quarter, the score 24-21 New England, Nick Foles will attempt a slow game-winning drive. On fourth and long in their own territory, and within field goal range to tie the game, Doug Pederson calls for a pass play. With the Patriots defense in a state of confusion, the Eagles snap the ball. Foles sees Nelson Agholor down the seam WIDE THE FUCK OPEN. Foles launches the ball towards Agholor, and seemingly out of nowhere, Malcolm Butler crashes into the receiver, jarring the ball loose and up into the air….and into the hands of some unknown Patriots defender.
  11. After the turnover, New England still has to move the ball in order to win the game. However, Eagles defense becomes unglued and penalties move the ball for the New England offense. Tom Brady milks the clock for a Patriots win.

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