Commit to Doing LESS in 2018!

branches&creatures

Lose weight.

Get a raise.

Take up a hobby.

Finish that novel!

Every year, we pledge to ourselves that we’re going to become healthier, knowledgeable, far more productive. And every year we punish ourselves because we failed to live up to some bullshit standard we set for ourselves.

So why don’t we do something different this year….instead of doing MORE, let’s just do less.

I know, I know…we’re told it’s a virtue to better ourselves. And maybe it is, don’t know and don’t give a shit. But what’s wrong with you the way you are?

Got a few extra pounds? Don’t worry about it, you might need it for winter.

Don’t get paid enough money? Just sell some semen. All those years of watching porn might finally pay off.

Want to learn to play the guitar but you’ve been to lazy (or watching porn) to do it? Maybe there’s a reason for that pal.

Everybody wants you to do more because everybody wants you to feel like a piece of shit. Commercials flood the airwaves this time of year, mostly saying: “hey buddy! You’re a worthless fatass! Why don’t you change your ways and join our gym for only $7.99 a month!”. Another favorite of mine are the for-profit universities telling you: “You’ve got a shitty career. Want an even shittier one? Come make your resume stand out at Dick Peters University…classes being held at your local rest stop.”

But what do you think of yourself?

Got a dead-end job that you love? I do.

Got a body that has a little bit more to love? There ain’t a damn thing wrong with that.

I’m not here to tell you that you’re mediocre and you need to be better at doing life. I’m here to tell you that maybe life is good…maybe you have everything you need…maybe you need to stop and appreciate what you do have.

Imagine if you did have a bangin’ bod. Think that all that hot, nasty sex you’ll be getting will make you happier? Perhaps that’s a question best left unanswered. But life isn’t like a porn (seriously dude, you need to stop watching so much porn). Women don’t (necessarily) drop their panties just because they see a guy with a six-pack and bulging pecs (it also helps to have money, be funny, and have a “personality”…whatever that means.) So keep your $7.99 and continue to sit on that beanbag and play Minecraft…

…AS LONG as that is what you want to be doing.

Think that promotion will get you what you want? WRONG. I’ve been promoted dozens of times. I’ve regretted all of them. Sure, I was able to afford a bitchin new truck and drum kit, but I fuckin hated life. Being a leader is hard. It’s thankless. And your fellow managers are mostly douchebags. But more importantly, it took away from what I wanted to do most: write useless philosophical blogs. God knows that doesn’t pay the bills. But more importantly, I learned that being the boss ain’t all that.

So if you got a middle-of-the-road job that most people see as a stepping stone to better things…God Bless you. SOMEBODY has to do that job.

“So you’re telling people to not follow their dreams?” You’re asking.

Wrong again.

I am warning people against empty pursuits. Having expensive things doesn’t make you content. Having more responsibility doesn’t lead to a fulfilling life…it leads to more stress. If you need to have nice things and a cool job in order to have respect from people, then you need a new group of friends. I AM here to tell you that the grass, to use a cliché, is NEVER greener.

If you want to live a more fulfilling life, it doesn’t start by desiring MORE. It starts by appreciating what you have.

Do less in 2018.

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