Thought of the Day: The Real Sinister Force Behind the “Mandela Effect”


I believe in being fashionably late to a party. But I just now got into watching conspiracy videos on YouTube.

The laziest, and arguably most delightful, of these “conspiracies” is the “Mandela Effect”. Named after a supposedly large number of people that falsely believed that Nelson Mandela died in prison during the 1980s…the “Mandela Effect” posits that the reason a large majority of people falsely recall certain events is because they are all jointly recalling a PARALLEL UNIVERSE where such events DID happen in the way these people remember (or they actually traveled between alternate universes, or some bullshit like that.) In other words, It’s the Matrix glitching.

And there IS a glitch alright…the glitch that’s the lazy piece of shit called your brain.

Don’t get me wrong, the brain does a lot for us. But it will always take the easy way out. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

That’s especially true of one of its most important functions: remembering things.

Thought you left your keys on the kitchen counter where they usually are?

Could it be that you’re recalling events from a parallel universe? Or is your brain halfassing its responsibility when it comes to remembering where you put things that it forgot that you left them in yesterday’s jeans?

What a fucking slacker.

Mind you, I’m not dismissing the idea of parallel universes. I hope they exist. They MUST exist. In fact, in this very universe…the very one we’re living…it’s a mathematical CERTAINTY that there’s a twin earth with a twin Wes typing away about the very shit we’re talking about. At this very moment!

So they’re out there. It’s just that there are FAR more practical ways of explaining why we remember false things.

Other “evidence” that this theory presents is that nearly everyone falsely remembers various movie quotes.

It’s not “Luke, I am your father”…It’s actually “NO, I am your father”.

Parallel Universes strike again!

But when such quotes get repeated over and over again with friends, media, and pop culture…could it be that your brain is actually recalling the false, repetitive quote and not  the actual one from the film?

Is is BereSTEIN bears or BerenSTAIN Bears?

Well, because we’ve been so conditioned to see and spell names and things that sound like STEIN or STEEN to have an E rather than A, your brain took the easy way out and recalled the former spelling of this children’s book series rather than the latter.

Like I said, your brain is painfully lazy.

But what about those who swore up and down that Nelson Mandela died while in prison. They even recall the funeral for fuck’s sake!

Well you’re right…there is something sinister at work here:

You’re racist.

“What?! How?”

Remember that time when that reporter thought that Samuel L. Jackson was Laurence Fishburn? Welp, it’s like that.

I’m not going to entertain the specifics for HOW Nelson Mandela might’ve been confused for someone else. I don’t know how a large segment of the population COMPLETELY forgot that he served as South Africa’s head of state. I mean, I know that they THOUGHT he died in the 80s. There were truckloads of cocaine being shoveled around in those days, perhaps that might explain the massive lapse in memory. BUT, I think it boils down to something worse: white people can’t distinguish other “non-white” people.

“Yeah, but a world leader?”

It’s pretty sad. I don’t even like typing this part, but it’s a far more plausible explanation than fucking parallel universes: a world leader from Africa…a part of the world that those in the West pay lip service towards but don’t actually care about.

So hey, you clearly remember Nelson Mandela dying in prison? Conspiracy theory? No, you’re just a racist asshole that doesn’t know history.

Once upon a time, before the presidency of Barack Obama, I remember people being CERTAIN that Martin Luther King Jr was the first black US President. There weren’t many of these idiots, but they were there. So, none of this is proof that parallel universes bleed over into OUR universe….it’s proof that we absolutely NEED Black History Month.

I think it’s proof that we need WAY more than that.

But that’s just our brains taking the easy way out. And sometimes the easy way is the RACIST way.

It’s fascinating how the “Mandela Effect” ever had traction. Not only is it proof that people are ignorant of Black History, but people are ignorant of science as well.

Do people really think that what their brains capture and recall are 100% accurate representations of what occurred? Are people so terrified about the fact that their minds don’t present accurate representations of reality that they have to conjure up some idiotic conspiracy theory to explain that they WERE correct in their recollections….it’s parallel universes that are at work?

So people are not only ignorant of history and science. They’re ignorant of philosophy as well!

I’m going to propose a theory of my own: is the “Mandela Effect” a construction of those that genuinely believe that they have memories from parallel universes?  Or is it a construction of internet trolls that managed to successfully expose the ignorance of everyone?

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