Specter of the Gun

Never owned a gun.

There’s two reasons for this.

I’ve never felt the need for one. Can’t say I was raised around them. Growing up in the south, I had friends that couldn’t wrap their mind around the fact that my parents didn’t have one in the house. I mean, like seriously, couldn’t comprehend it. We’re not in the wild west, it’s the 21st Century for fuck’s sake.

Of course, I had opportunities to buy them since being an adult.

But you know what? I’m crazy. Like, literally. Got the meds to prove it.

Having a gun in the house would have posed a very serious risk to not only myself, but to others as well. The probability of successful suicide would have skyrocketed and/or people around me getting shot. So no thanks. I’ll take my chances in the real world.

What about an intruder entering your home? Don’t you want protection?” you’re asking.

Not really.

Sure I’ve had my home broken into. Several times in fact. But each time I wasn’t there, so having a gun wouldn’t have done me any good. In fact (not that I would know), burglars probably wait until the resident is not home.

What if YOU are home!?”

Well if the person is there to murder me, which is a highly unlikely scenario, then having a gun could conceivably be a good investment. But you know what? I don’t walk around the world trying to purposefully piss people off. Unless this blog pisses you off! So I’m not too worried about that.

Of course, if a burglar comes in while I AM home, then I’ll do what I can to deter the intruder. If the intruder has a gun, there’s nothing in my house that is worth getting shot (or shooting someone) over. If I’m truly concerned about this problem, I’ll just get a security system.

What if you’re out in public and there’s an active shooter! Don’t you think that the real problem is that there’s not enough GOOD GUYS with GUNS?”

Calm down Wyatt Earp.

Imagine how that scenario would play out. There’s been a lot debate about guns on college campuses. So an active shooter comes to campus. Suddenly there’s dozens of students and faculty in a shootout with one or more gunmen. Bullets are flying every which way. Not only does that sound ridiculous, but this shootout would likely endanger many more people than if there was just a lone gunman.

So as a crazy person, I feel much safer NOT having a gun. And by the way, no person with my condition should own a fucking gun. Keep them out of our hands! Although I served in the military, there’s no way they’d let me reenlist. It’s highly unlikely an police force would accept me. If you’re a person with a mental illness, DO NOT HAVE A GUN.

Don’t sell them to people with mental illnesses.

I realize that that’s easier said than done. I have no idea how to legislate that. But as a general rule, let’s do our best to keep out their, and mine, hands. Mmk?

We can rationalize this all day. It won’t make a damn bit of difference. Any sane person can understand that, except under extreme circumstances that we’ll likely never find ourselves in, guns aren’t going to protect you. Actually, let me clarify that statement….YOU with a gun are not going to protect YOU. Quite the opposite in fact. You’re probably more likely to get shot. Who would have thought?

As a side note, clearly I favor banning guns outright to the idiot layperson. But being an American, I’ll never see that happen. So I’ll favor any measure that makes guns SAFER as a compromise. And there have been steps in that direction, at least ATTEMPTED steps. Yet gun enthusiasts and associated organizations seem hell bent on keeping firearms as dangerous as possible….and readily available in all forms.

As a general rule, I don’t like calling people idiots. Except for one guy…and his name is Steve Doocy, the host on Fox and Friends. Jesus fucking Christ, how does that guy have a job? But at one point he objected to a finger-print gun safe because one wouldn’t be able to get to their weapon quick enough. I fucking hate this guy. I wish I could find the video where he says this bullshit.

But that’s the kind of logic that gun proponents use.

Yet it’s never been about logic. I mean, they have to use REASONS for why they think guns should rain from the sky. You know, 2nd Amendment, Founding Fathers and all that shit. But just because something permits you to do a thing doesn’t automatically mean that you HAVE to do a thing.

Most people who own guns will never use them for protection. They probably don’t know anybody who ever used them for protection. Animal hunting aside, buying guns for “protection” is just a myth that the buyers tells themselves.

We all hate the guy with the huge truck. Or the loud car. Or anything that makes the owner feel bigger than he really is. Clearly he’s compensating. The guy with the truck is never going to use it haul stuff. And the guy with the big engine just has a small penis.

But the object itself is thought to bring a quality that the individual feels they lack. A whole culture is developed around it to help reinforce that quality.

And American society in particular has a strong cultural connection to the gun. Tales of the wild west for instance, where men roamed the frontier armed with their rifle and six-shooter. American culture itself formed out of frontier life (in large sections of the country)…and it wasn’t that long ago from a historical perspective. For American men, southerners in particular, masculinity is heavily intertwined with owning weapons.

And that’s clearly why they’re so passionate about them. (Yet are disguising it under “2nd Amendment Rights”)

I’ll admit, I’ve done my part in perpetuating the glorification of violence and gun culture. I’m sure that (some of) you have read my James Bond posts. Guilty as charged. While I don’t feel the need to own a gun or commit acts of violence, I do vicariously live through the adventures of Bond and similar movies.

That being said, I’ll conclude with this:

Our society’s relationship with guns and violence can be summed up in the movie Layer Cake. The character simply titled XXXX, (played by Daniel Craig 😉 ), is shown a room full of guns and is asked to pick one out. He states….

“I mean, I fucking hate guns…although that one is really pretty”.

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